The Dance Of The Lesser Death, And The Rise To Fuller Life.

It can be said that we are the sum total of all our experiences. In this blog

my experiences are related to a journey from fear, and despair to faith and

hope. These experiences are replicated in the lives of millions, as it will become

evident. At the age of fifteen, after an unhappy and fearful childhood with no

friendships. I was a loner lacking confidence and self esteem. I entered the

workplace and found alcohol. All my workmates seemed to drink a lot, and I

had found what I thought was my best friend, alcohol.

That empty feeling that had been with me all my life seemed to be filled

by this new found elixir. It seemed to be a magic liquid that gave me confidence

soaring self esteem and the ability to chat with girls. Little did I know that I

Had started a sequence of events that would almost kill me fourteen years

later. I became hopelessly addicted to alcohol. It is said that alcohol is a great

remover of stains, and blemishes, but it will also remove you in the end!

Addictions run deep within humanity. Mine was alcohol but there are dozens

of others, all equally devastating, which kill millions every day. An addition like

mine is one of constriction. It is an ever narrowing malignant vortex that screws

ever tighter on its victim until if unchecked, will terminate life as the vortex

reaches its narrowest point (your death) it will first however remove everything

else that you hold dear, as it did with me.

The addictive soul who like me feels empty inside, has a gaping hole that they

hope their addition will fill. It never does! We are ‘hole’ people and not “WHOLE”

people. I nearly died of my addiction and at the end of it, I was desolate, numb.

completely lost and full of nightmarish phantoms that caused me to cower and

freeze in panic. There is a solution to all addictions if we face up to it. I was

beyond human aid, although I have had immense help and aid over the years from

others who like me, had this addiction and were recovering through a self help

group A A. I also needed help from a power greater than me. I fell to my knees and

asked for release from this dreadful illness, that was literally choking me to death

in a negative spiral of constrictive energy squeezing out the life force and leaves you

either dead or insane (brain dead). I had an awakening after falling to the ground and

asking the Great spirit of the universe for help. I completely surrendered to that

mighty Being and, as I did this, a great weight came upon me and I could hear my bones

and sinews crunching under the pressure. Then a voice said to me “what do you know”?

I went to say what I thought I knew and immediately the weight got heavier , again

the voice said, “what do you know”? This time I said NOTHING as all! With that

the weight lifted off me and the voice said “now you are teachable my friend.

From that day over forty seven years ago now, I have been well sober and free.

This blog is about sharing that you too, my friend reading this , can recover

as well, find peace and inner contentment and fill that “HOLE” by

becoming “WHOLE”. May peace and serenity capture your hearts today.

Warmest regards michael. any feedback welcomed.

Published by michaelneilkirkpatrick

I have been meditating for over forty five years and now being retired and a young 75 year young man, spend some of my time sharing my many experiences and insights into the WAY through my many blogs I have shared over five thousand blogs over the years, and am now sharing on this platform here I am always available to chat or answer questions. Thank you for reading this.

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